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About Me Name: Alvin Age: 20 School: none Education: none
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I realised life is much more complicated than it seems. The workload piles up all of a sudden, the bosses turn crazy in a blink of an eye and start to attempt to kill one another under the same roof. Is this harmony? Is this working together as a "family"? Is this the way, where each and everyone of us is achieving the same purpose, doing? I just do not understand why politics can go to such an extent, to an extent like this. Day after day I am living in a shit hole, a place untolerably stinks, filled with grosteque humanoids roaming around, showing off their authority, ordering people to do THEIR job, etc... I wonder how the people survive there for months and even years and years, a day seems lik eons to go through, the torment.. oh my, so excruciating... And then it floated in and out of my mind time and again, of which humble things are so difficulty to be achieved, let alone to be possessed. The endless repetitions of one drifting through my mind isn't going to help change how the world is going to be in the future for me anymore... Suddenly everything came back to me like it was before. I just do not understand how, ultimately should I ever, ever get out of the neverending journey in circles. I dwell around this unbreakable sphere of fear, of lost, of remorse until god knows when, and I know I cannot do this on my own, I need a helping hand, to free from this dark, demonic sphere which consumes me and my mind... I couldn't be the one who let out my feelings towards anyone... I couldn't be the compassionate person I used to be.. But at least I knew how to control the childish moments of mine, using my brains to speak instead of my mouth, putting myself into others' shoes, feeling how he/she will feel if it is him/her.... or whatever... After a year of torment, I realise that I still cannot get over with everything. I never fall in love again. Perhaps you are the one who really get into my heart with everything you had. I do not know how to recover from all these anymore. No one could save me from all these things, and I can do is to avoid and avoid, and when I open up my wallet I see you and the memories again... the memories.... I once told myself I couldn't live without you. I don't see myself as a living being ever since you left me without saying a word. Rambled by kaSh at 11:34 pm I tried to leave you out of my life for a few days, but then I came back and tell myself that it was an utterly impossible thing to do. I tried to tell myself, for all these countless months I had been through without a single word mentioned about you to anyone, I could forget everything which happened in the past. I tried to convince the people around me you were just an acquintence, but then that was not the case at all. I tried to fall in love with another again, thinking if that would be the ultimate solution to save myself yet again, but those were not call love, they were just flings and infactuations, just fun I wanted to have by myself... Some people are just trapped in an endless tunnel of torment, leaving no exits by the sides, the savior is ultimately not there afterall, after all these months, years of dwelling upon the land aimlessly, I have yet to find the one solution which... which will bring me up, up again like I always did... always be the one who has no qualms, no worries, always be the one who has you to be by my side... I can never stand up straight, face the world like I could the years before, the times before... I can never life my head up high, just to see the sky which I always thought you and I would bathe in... I can never fall in love anymore, unless I could find another exact, unique you... There will always be one and only you... in my heart. Rambled by kaSh at 11:05 pm Ok. I thought it would be a fine week, until... WHAT THE FUCK! I LOST MY HANDPHONE. OR RATHER, IT GOT STOLEN. Fuck it. Firstly I some shouting from my RQ telling me that I am DIFFICULT. I posed difficulty into doing things for her simply because of her last minute fuck telling me without preparing any documents. What the fuck. Then I had to make another wastes trip which pissed everyone, again. What the fuck. Then the fucking boss asked me to see him, talked crap with me, about work attitude and all that, stop being rude to my superiors.... and what the fuck? Work attitude should always be there, but when one day you realise your men has a slight change towards their work attitude, you really think they should shoulder all the blame? How about considering YOURSELF into the "work attitude" problem of your men? Maybe you are one, or rather, the main cause of all this shiet problems? And what the fuck. I came out of the taxi, I dropped my phone onto the grass, I thought I left in the taxi and gave chase, at the same time this old bloody bitch came and took it and ran across the road without looking at how many thousands of cars rushing towards her. FUCK HER. She will fucking DIE if I see her. May her burn in hell, get raped and eaten by stray dogs for stealing my phone. TO FUCKING THINK THAT I TOLD MYSELF EVERYONE IS BORN WITH A GOOD HEART AT THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE. FUCK THAT. Rambled by kaSh at 8:32 pm |
My friends #verythin Zeqi Hsi En Mitchell Natasha Qiu Hui Chewy Hui Qi Ginger Belinda Shu Ting Leon Zhi Wei Lewis Valerie Xinmin Isabelle June Yong Benjamin Jiun Pey Aik Meng Wan Ling Hui Ling Clara Jolene Li Hui Ah Zai Yin Jie Lee Shyuan Wei Luo Way Chin Hui Ying Yani Mary Roddy Yen Wei Leanne Isaac Cheng Chong Chun Pei Mel Shi Rui Bert Shu Hao Michelle Eunice | ||||||
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