This is my story...

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

At least the tides have turned a little for now. I am recovering; I can hear clearer now, no more severe blocks and sharp, irritating pains which occur frequently and all.

Maybe it is time to move on to reality after so much of fantasy and dreaming for the past 19 years of my life. The reason why I did not do what I suppose to these few month is because I am still indulge in my wonderful world of fairy tales and all that, in the process trying to heal myself with all the crap I have suffered in torment in the past.

Oh, everyone thinks that I talk rubbish half the time. And when I speak the truth, no one believes. Oh well. This is natural. All my general facts and figures have turned into worthless crap.

Maybe the reaons are I am so irritating that you do not feel like hearing me whine anymore, or something like that. Maybe I am persistent to some crap (Oh I am not), or maybe I did not do anything to show how much I appreciated you in my life, or maybe I just talk too much of crap about my army and my sad sad life and stuff and all.

Haiz. Sometimes I wonder if I need a psychologist or a psychiatrist to consult to, to listen to ALL my crap so that I will feel better, telling them the problems which I faced, and give me some medicine to put me into deep sleep and either 1) never wake up or 2) wake up without recalling any shiet.

I need a new direction in life. My roads are either blocked or under severe construction, or some beyond the repair of a normal being.

Kinda sad. This is the only place which I can just whine my sorrows out, to let the whole internet know how I feel without me evening knowing who the hell knows, and who the hell cares. If anyone is pissed reading my crap and stuff of all these, please kindly, leave.

More than half of the people who read this do not give a tiny fuck about it. It's ok. I am starting to get used to be neglected and placed aside already. In no time I will be someone who doesn't give a shiet about the world and vice versa. How nice?

Shoot me, anyone.

Rambled by kaSh at 8:29 pm