This is my story...

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

I am down with flu. This flu is serious. My throat, tonsils and ear are swollen. Yes, Ear. The middle year is swollen. The doc says if it is not treated fast the ear drum will burst and I will go deaf. Ever had such flu before?

Seriously my life is going into a downfall. I am struck with a common disease with an uncommon effect. Who in this world will expect you to go half deaf when you contract with a simple, mild flu?

My ear hurts every now and then.

I do not know what to do. Sometimes I just feel like giving up like I felt many, many times. Jumping down is obviously not a solution to all problems, at least it will stop my mind from controlling my body.

Having a blocked ear does not seem really fine afterall. I have a two-day MC which I stayed at home to recuperate, which initially I thought it will be fine. Well the pain started to get worse, and my hearing started to deterioriate. I know there is nothing much I can do expect to consume my medicine regularly as stated.

Surprisingly I am not worried about what is going to happen to me in the near future of my ear. Maybe I have already given up hope on my life.

Easier say than done. If you tell me that something will eventually go off, just like this sickness of mine will go off and I will recover, then one thing you do not feel is to be me. I had my middle ears drilled when I was in Primary 6 due to excessive mucous stucked in the tube connecting your middle ear to your throat. As a result I could not swim, or to allow water to enter my ears. Till this day my right ear still has the hole in it, and it contains no pressure inside my ear.

I hear less with my right ear, something which everyone of you do not know about me, because whatever I say is deemed as bullshiet. Yeah. Even this entry.

Just shoot me. I'd rather die than to lose on of my five senses.

Rambled by kaSh at 10:04 pm