This is my story...

Friday, June 10, 2005

I am so tired but I couldn't sleep.

I have absoutely no idea why.

Maybe some things are really really meant not to say it out, especially when most of us think otherwise when expressed out; human minds are complex, they can have 1001 miraculous ideas of how to operate a light bulb 50 metres away.

There is always a rationale behind everything questioned and done. I believe that's true. You don't go around killing people slashing their throats for fun. You hate them and thus you do it.

But there is a problem with that: Sometimes I don't know how to say out the reason or rationale of me doing something. Perhaps it's so obvious that no reason is needed, meaning it's so obvious that that's the reason behind which absolutely need not be mentioned unless you are really dumb, or simply too complicated to be explained... or most of the time we know what's the rationale behind my action so I guess I need not explain them out again.

Or sometimes I just don't feel like saying.

And sometimes I will type like no one's business, and ended up not knowing what the hell am I talking until I re-read my entire entry, and I by that time comes I am lazy to go amend my mistakes.

I choose to keep things into my heart. Because it will be better that way.

It also means that I will die earlier because I don't think my heart can take it for the rest of my life.

But it doesn't mean that I have alot of problems. I choose to be carefree but not giving a fuck about anything around me. Only those who are significant to me then I will. Yeah. I am the villian.

Yes I am bad. You can see that by reading the previous post with extreme verbal content. And I don't care because that doesn't post a tiny bit fuck threat to me. I am evil. I flare up unneccesarily. I have a vicious temper which poisons and kills . Fear me.

It's not that I didn't try to be a good guy.

Maybe even if I try to be one, everyone will portray me as the bad guy.

Anyways I don't care. As long as you see me as the good guy in your heart, I am contented.

Rambled by kaSh at 1:45 am