This is my story...

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Oh what an afternoon to blog. Hot... well not too hot the weather is fine.. not too bright and humid... nevertheless you still need to take a bath to relieve yourself from those perspiration you suffered from walking up and down of your house, ransacking your whole room looking for your favourite all time movie, but found none... hey... wait... what's this... Star Wars I and II.....

Star Wars III is coming out on May 19th, though not a huge Star Wars fan I simply love out of the world plots; battling amongst planets, rebellions, spaceships and wierd lifeforms floating around the galaxy... and whereby you have almost all spaceships which can travel at the speed of light regardless of Einstein's and Newton's laws.

And what's with The Straits Times Interactive nowadays? You need to pay to read online now, so I guess it's more worthwhile buying newspapers from the shop located at the ground floor of my flat, though you will have ink stains on your fingers after an hour of endulging yourself with the current affairs of the world..

I guess sometimes we need to realise that some things which revolves around our lives never change, you need not take a whole lifetime to realise that though. Facts like the Earth revolves around the Sun, facts like you have to die eventually, the normal routine of usual lifestyle of man still stays the same, as always, from an infant to a teenager then an adult to an elderly and the last lap's in the grave.

Similarly I guess some things which are found in the innermost of the hearts of an individual never change, though it may sound really ambagious but sometimes it's the painful truth, which of course we human beings sometimes are never able to comprehend what even the closest one to you, feels. We can all sit around to dissertate and relate what the problem will lead to, what leads to the problem, but ultimately ones choice to solve it or not depends only to that individual alone, no doubt not even the greatest beings can help, although most of us may say, faith brings us to where we are, but faith is a believe, not an opening door to solve all problems and complications.

Things which can never be altered are for instance, the past, words spoken and etc. If there is a chance to turn back time, or to forgo the past once and for all, what will an individual usually choose?

Remember if it wasn't for the past, we will not be standing here. It was because of the Big Bang which created particles and it led to a series of chain reactions resulting the creation of human beings and environment. It was because of Alexander the Great who conquered almost the whole of Asia, led to a series of distorted historical events which most of us are still relatively confused over what was going on a thousand years back.

I will not choose to forget my past, though sometimes I would like to travel back time to change it, to shape it for the better, though deemed impossible, but somehow or rather things which change in the future, I wish to remember my past for it plays a major role in the present, and it definately affects my future.

And relating back to some things never change, it really doesn't matter when I'd this affection for you, it wasn't that bad afterall as I thought, it takes two hands to clap, although the it turned out to be somehow quite undesirable for me, that's when everyone will blame it to: Fate.

My past was you, and even further back my past was another. Somehow or rather things just couldn't change. I don't want to mention abt what my past is going to play what role in my future, for I'll never know now, though mentioned life is already predestined, I believe I shape my own future.

I hope you are safe and sound, and happy like you always are.. or maybe merrier, as what your name always describes what you are, as what your smiles always delude me, for just not realising tiny details of the joy you bring to everyone near you, especially me...

Maybe time really heals everything, maybe time really is an all-cure for everyone of us, but nevertheless, though the wound is healed, there is bound to be a scar, which will remain there forever, for as long as I am alive the scar will bring me back to where we were, to where the past was meant to be, to where I once knew that I had that times with you, somehow or rather, I feel sad and devastated losing such moments with you, for you will not, because such moments it may only be insignificant to you, because you have already enjoyed happier moments.

Sad but nevertheless it has to be done, I just hope that you are happy as always, then I'll be just fine. Words need not to be exchanged, things need not to be done to feel that you are comfortable with your life and mine now.

And sad to say I still couldn't get over you at times, although I've told my friends around me that I've moved on, and yes I really do.. but such things are really hard to wash away, sometimes I wish to have an eraser which can just erase the unhappy memories of mine, unfortunately everyone knows we have to live with whatever has happened in the past...

I wrote all these because I didn't want you to appear in my dreams again. You're fine and I'll be alright. That's the most I can ask for.

Rambled by kaSh at 4:58 pm