This is my story...

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Oh! I finally found some answers to the question: Why do I care?

I care because I am afraid to lose. Sometimes when my friends are in need of trouble, I wanna help.

I care because I cannot neglect them. If they need any help, I will do my best.

Sometimes I go to such an extent which some people will be mistaken for that care and concern to be infactuation or other wtf things which you wanna call that.

Sometimes I go to such an extent which I am too possessive, because when I care and I THOUGHT you don't appreciate and thus something like this happened. It's not by saying that you appreciate, I will feel it... action speaks louder than words.

Why I don't care then?

Sometimes and most of the times I find it redundant to give a shiet about things such as why did it not rain for the past few days, because these things are beyong my control, even if I whine over a thousand times it will not change that present situation.

Sometimes it's not my problem at all. You have a tiff with someone who is close to you, yeah I can choose not to care, but I do care because I wanna help. But sometimes people just tell me redundant things which I simply keep repeating to myself "it's not my prob".

No, I don't mean that you can't find me when you need someone to be there for me, or wanting someone to lend a listening ear and such. I don't mean that. Seriously.

And yeah, I seriously don't give a shiet if you care reading this or if you wanna flame anything about what is going wrong with my blog and all that because I don't really care.

I care for the people who care for me.

And I ought to be shot for writing such dumb and pointless entry. Nevermind it is always been like that. I talk shiet, I write shiet, I sing shiet. Everything which comes out from my brain and mouth, converted to words or sound waves, are just nothing but rubbish thoughts from my mind.

They say I think too much. I think too much because I used my brains on wrong things such as why do I suck at life, comments given by everyone saying that this thing sucks, using profund words to shoot the back of my head. I should use my brains in fields such as discovering my special talent and write it down in the application form of NUS, playing a serious game of badminton, maybe sometimes help from my juniors on curriculum subjects or being able to make money.

I just don't know how to control myself. I couldn't sleep because I think too much. And trust me, it isn't that old issue anymore, I don't even wanna give a 0.01% of fuckshiet for that. It's over so fuck it, but it's regarding something which I feel that it's... oh well sometimes it's difficult to put in words. I don't know what happened. Something's wrong man..

Shoot me, please Fel.

Rambled by kaSh at 2:03 am